Wednesday, June 30, 2010


George and Lynne are in their car picking up Katalina. Lynne asks her how Italy was. Katalina tells her it was wonderful and that she fell madly for a couple of guys. Lynne asks her if she will see either of them again. Katalina tells her she does every time she closes her eyes.

Katalina has been on a holiday by herself to Italy and has asked Lynne if she will pick her up from the airport. It would appear that Katalina doesn't have many friends. As she's gone away on her own, it might be that she has just come out of serious relationship and needed some time to come to terms with it, similar to Shirley Valentine but a bit younger.

Katalina has got over her last boyfriend quite quickly if she has already fallen for not one but two men. However Katalina is merely over exaggerating; she had no intention of seeing the men again and just wanted to have a wild week away to forget her troubles. These two men were incredibly nice to her and she will remember the holiday with great fondness.

In the meantime George has completely missed this conversation as he has been putting Katalina's bags in the boot of his car. After hearing Lynne's question he wonders what Katalina might be seeing again. Considering she is recently single, he thinks that it might be a couple of properties in Italy. As a leading property lawyer, he wryly smiles to himself as he has been wanting to get into the European market for a while and this could be his chance. He won't like it when he finds out exactly what they are talking about.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


George and Sammy are at the pub. George comments that it is a quiet night and Sammy agrees. Just then a woman appears asking for help because she got soaked with beer trying to change a barrel. Later George and Sammy come home bandaged. Lynne asks what happened and George replies that they got trampled in the rush.

George and Sammy are at the The Ferryboat, their local pub. It is not very busy, evident from George's comment and the fact that they have both got stools at the bar. We can't be sure how many people are in the pub tonight but George and Sammy's end of the bar is certainly not being staffed right now. The other part of the bar may be busy, but relaxed.

The barmaid has failed to properly change the barrel of beer. This is most likely because she has not changed a barrel without supervision before. The manager of the bar thought this would be an ideal night for her to try it alone because the bar wasn't that busy and he could get by without her behind the bar for a short time. I do not know how easy or difficult it is to change a barrel of beer but this may have been a casket of guest ale which didn't come in a metal keg. It could also have been defective in which case the manager may want to take that up with the brewery.

From their bandages, it looks like George has sprained his arm and Sammy has a cut on his head. The rush of male patrons must have come from George's left side, knocking his right arm into the bar and then smashing Sammy's head to the bar or the floor. We don't know if George and Sammy went to hospital but because they haven't phoned their wives to tell them about the incident it suggests that the barmaid herself patched up the two men. She felt guilty that they were the only two injured. The throng of male clientele failed to save the barrel in question and the barmaid was told to go directly to the manager next time she had a problem to avoid such an incident again.

Monday, June 28, 2010


Lynne is talking to an unnamed friend who tells her that Charlie from the circus is giving her a lift to work. Lynne is confused because as far as she knows Charlie doesn't have a car. Her friend tells her that no one mentioned a car as she gets a lift on the back of an elephant.

In a normal town, the circus usually comes in for a week, month or other set amount of time. However it seems that in Wimbledon they have their own resident circus. We know this because both Lynne and her friend seem to be familiar with Charlie, an employee of the circus. Lynne's friend knows him well enough to be offered a lift to work and Lynne knows that he doesn't own a car. How did she get hold of this information? Perhaps she regularly sees him walking around town.

We must presume that Charlie is in charge of the elephants at the Wimbledon circus, but is he really allowed to give unauthorised rides to ladies? There must be some sort of manager or owner who would veto any use of the elephant for personal gain. The other explanation is that Charlie owns the circus, but this can't be the case because he is known as Charlie from the circus and the elephant trainer would be furious at Charlie pulling rank on him and taking the elephant out.

Lynne's friend must work somewhere that is situated where she has to walk into town first. It appears from this that half the work has been done to get to town in the first place, in order to get a lift with Charlie. Will Charlie ride her right up to the office, or just to the end of the park? It just doesn't seem convenient. Lynne's friend obviously either has the hots for Charlie or just really wants to ride on an elephant.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Lynne is doing yoga. She says that it is very good for her. George thinks that watching Lynne doing yoga is very good for him.

Lynne has decided to do her yoga with no top on but she still has her socks on. Are these special yoga socks? From the second frame it might be that she needs them to hold on to when doing some yoga moves.

It looks like this is taking place in the bedroom. What's intriguing is that a yellow bear is the only thing on the mantlepiece. Is this a rare family heirloom? If it was just a bear it might be with some other stuffed toys. No, this is a very valuable item. It may be that the bear is solid gold and once belonged to Walt Disney. It represents an original character that was never published but Walt had it molded into a statue to commemorate his life's work. How did it end up in the hands of a couple in Wimbledon, you ask. That is a mystery we will never quite uncover.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Lynne and 'Mantha are out horse riding. Lynne tells 'Mantha that Ed says he'll never get another. 'Mantha asks Lynne if he said why. Lynne replies that it was too difficult and expensive to keep. 'Mantha asks Lynne if she is talking about horses. Lynne says that she is not; she is talking about wives.

Once again, Lynne and 'Mantha are out enjoying a luxury hobby. This time it is horse riding. They seem to be good at this because they have no trainer and have their horses under control. Although 'Mantha has failed to co-ordinate her earrings with anything she is wearing, she has matched her riding helmet with her blouse. Lynne has also co-ordinated her outfit by matching her riding gloves with her trousers.

It appears that Lynne has deliberately set out to confuse 'Mantha by not telling her initially that she was talking about wives. 'Mantha assumes she is talking about horses, presumably because they are riding horses and were probably talking about them too. This conversation would be a bit deeper had Lynne told 'Mantha that Ed says he'll never have another wife. They could then discuss just how expensive and difficult Ed's wife was rather than laughing to themselves for the next 10 minutes.

Just who is Ed that he deserves to be talked about? His surname is not mentioned so he must be well known. He may be the owner of the stable but it would be strange that the owner of a stable wouldn't get another horse. Not that he isn't getting another horse, but another wife. Why would 'Mantha think that Ed the stable owner is never getting another horse? Does she think that Ed is thinking of closing the stable? She does look a little shocked when she asks if it is horses. Where on earth would she go riding? Her smile at the end is less appreciation of Lynne's joke, but relief that her riding can continue.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


George and Lynne are in a hot air balloon. George asks Lynne why they have gone up in a hot air balloon on election day. Lynne replies that it is because they are floating voters.

On first glance it seems that George and Lynne are the only people in the hot air balloon. Due to this it would be that either George or Lynne are experienced hot air balloon riders, because you would expect that an instructor or controller would be in the basket with them. However there does seem to be a pale figure behind Lynne. He is likely to be the controller and hires out his balloon to members of the public.

George and Lynne are going up in the balloon during the day so both they and the balloon man have time to get to the polling booth which will be open until 10pm. If this is taking place outside the Wimbledon area then we have to presume that George and Lynne have registered and voted by post. The balloon man will give his last balloon ride to finish at 7pm so he can have time to vote.

Lynne claims that both she and George are floating voters. It would appear that Lynne doesn't understand the term and believes it has something to do with literally being in the air. Even if she does understand, it bears no relevance on this election. This must be 1983. At this time, Wimbledon was a Conservative safe seat since 1950, and wouldn't swing to Labour until 1997. Perhaps this is why they have gone on a little trip. They know full well that their vote wouldn't make a difference in their constituency and so have decided to make use of the day to do something that they've been wanting to do for a long time.

Monday, June 21, 2010


Lynne and 'Mantha are at nudist camp. 'Mantha tells Lynne that she was once offered money to strip. Lynne tells 'Mantha that Mrs Warboys told her that someone once offered her money to put her clothes back on. 'Mantha asks her who would do that. Lynne winks and tells her it was Mr Warboys.

'Mantha does not come to the nudist camp as regularly as Lynne. We can see this as she is displaying tan lines whereas Lynne is tanned all over. Lynne has managed to convince her to come along but 'Mantha is certainly apprehensive. She is not as liberal as Lynne but has agreed to go on the condition that she can have a towel close to hand in case she becomes too embarrassed.

Lynne should be a little bit more sensitive towards her friend. 'Mantha is trying to ease herself into the nudist camp by talking about her previous incidents involving nudity. She tells Lynne about a time when she was offered to strip but Lynne just uses this opportunity to trump 'Mantha. 'Mantha plays along with Lynne's conversation but is starting to look more uncomfortable.

Unless someone has squirted lemon juice in her eye, Lynne's wink suggests that Mr Warboys never offered Mrs Warboys money to put her clothes on. What we don't know is whether Lynne is passing on a little joke told by Mrs Warboys or whether it is her own joke. If it is Mrs Warboys' joke then we would hope that she will acknowledge the creator of the joke. If it is Lynne's joke then it is a personal attack on Mrs Warboys which suggests that Lynne has the opinion that Mrs Warboys' naked body is both repulsive and offensive. Let us hope Mrs Warboys doesn't catch wind of Lynne's joke or there could be a frosty reception at the next cocktail party.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Lynne is getting a massage. The masseuse tells her that her last boyfriend was a test pilot, but then she mistakenly mentioned marriage. Lynne asks if he then dumped her. The masseuse confirms this by saying that he did it at the speed of sound.

Everything is now revealed. The man that Lynne's masseuse was dating, Mac, did in fact live next to the church that was near the airport because he is a test pilot. He either needed to be close to an airport, or airfield, for his job so he rented the house next to the church. He is also incredibly interested in planes so living next to an airport is a delight for him.

Maya thought that her and Mac were getting serious, as she told Lynne before, but it turns out she had completely misread the relationship. Mac had caught wind of Maya's dislike of the sound of aeroplanes and was planning to end the relationship. He finally had the chance to end it when she mentioned marriage. She used the phrase, “of course when we're married we won't be living next to an airport.” This was the last straw so Mac ended the relationship immediately. Maya says it was at the speed of sound, which just means that he told her rather than writing it down.

This is not the first time that Maya has cried in front of Lynne. The last time she had a problem with a boyfriend she burst into tears. By the look on Lynne's face, she is thinking “oh no, not again.” Maya needs to learn to be more professional. After Lynne complains to the manager, Maya will get an official warning to stop letting her emotions get the better of her in front of clients. Maya is then sent home and to come back when she's sorted herself out. The massage centre likes to look after its staff, but business is business.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Lynne is getting a massage. The masseuse, Maya, tells Lynne that things are getting serious between her and Mac. Lynne asks her if she hears wedding bells. Maya says that she certainly does because he lives next to a church. She finally exclaims that the church makes a racket.

Lynne is very loyal to her masseuse. We have seen her on the massage table twice before. Maya, the masseuse, thinks that she is now in a serious relationship. We don't know her reasons for thinking this. It might be because she has been spending a lot of time at his house, which is next to a church.

Maya is clearly not a religious woman. She finds the noise of the bells, which signify a wedding or to call worshippers to prayer, disturbing and ruin the ambience of her day. She has heard them so much that she sometimes cannot distinguish between the sound of the bells and her memory of the sound and she tries to drown them out by putting her fingers in her ears. If Maya finds the noise of the bells so annoying it doesn't hold much hope for the relationship. Especially if Mac is a religious man.

It could be that it isn't the bells that Maya dislikes, but the aeroplanes. Mac lives next door to the church that Lynne visited. The sound of the planes is too much for Maya. She should have said that in the first place, so Lynne wouldn't think that she's a God hating satanist.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Lynne is in the bath. George asks her if she posed nude for an art class. He asks her to confirm that she was naked on a couch with a rose between her teeth. He then tells her it wasn't a very good idea. Lynne agrees because the greenfly got everywhere.

Part three of the great art class epic concludes with Lynne having gone to the art class and posed nude. This happens just after the last time Lynne told George about her nudity. George has changed to go out to meet Sammy and Lynne has slipped into a bath. During the time it takes for him to get changed, George has a think about what Lynne has done and has to go back to make sure he hasn't dreamed it.

More information is divulged. It turns out that Lynne was asked to pose on a couch with a rose between her teeth. This is not an art class for amateurs. The artists have already mastered drawing the human form and have now decided to add other objects into their art. Lynne is lucky; if this was a beginner's class she may have had to stand for an hour.

George thinks that Lynne posing nude wasn't a good idea. His reasons are not clear. Perhaps Lynne has some marks on her body from leaning too hard on the wooden arms of the couch. She may have scratched her face from the thorns on the rose. As it turns out, it was because Lynne is covered in dead greenfly that she has been smacking all evening. This explains firstly why she has taken a bath so quickly and also why she immediately took her dress off when she got home. Next week she will forgo the rose.

Monday, June 14, 2010


Lynne is reading in a library. A woman walks past struggling with a pile of books. They fall over and Lynne says 'Timber'. She is reading a book called 'Lumberjacks.'

Lynne is reading in a library. This is because she thinks that if she doesn't get out of the house then she feels she won't have done anything productive. She could quite easily read at home but then she would be unlikely to get dressed. Besides, she has been recommended a book and wants to check it out.

The book she is reading is called Lumberjacks. What we don't know is whether it is a novel or a non-fiction book. It would be surprising if Lynne was reading an information book about lumberjacks so we can assume it is a novel. In it, a family of lumberjacks fall out over logging permits causing tragedy. This is as far as Lynne has got but the book is so gripping that she has read almost half of it at the library before taking it home. Unfortunately for her, the copy she is reading has a printing error, causing two pages to be completely blank. Luckily it has not upset her enjoyment of the book.

If this incident happened anywhere else, the librarian lady would be giving Lynne a piece of her mind for being unhelpful and rather juvenile. However due to strict library rules, the librarian must keep quiet so all she can do is stare in disbelief at Lynne. Lynne has broken the quiet rule herself by shouting Timber so the librarian is well within her right to throw Lynne out.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Lynne tells George that her art class was short of a nude model so she volunteered. George is angry and says that he is not at all keen with Lynne taking her clothes off. However when he sees her taking her clothes off, he changes his mind.

At what point exactly in George and Lynne's lives does this occur? Didn't something similar happen just yesterday? Or even if there is a long gap between events, does George not remember the last time a local art class was mentioned? He was shocked then and now he is angry. He must be on some heavy medication.

If we are to take George's memory loss for granted, we must ask the question of what sort of food are they serving at this art class as Lynne is piling on the pounds. Perhaps the module is about Renaissance painters and Lynne has taken this very seriously. If that's the case she must have known she was going to be a nude model. Of course she knew, she told George yesterday. Either that or they are making counterfeit copies of Beryl Cook paintings.

Where is Lynne hanging that dress? She hasn't gone upstairs yet she is insisting on taking her dress off immediately. Is she trying to cover up a scent? Were the art class building up an appetite by smoking some illicit substance. Lynne must be hanging her dress in the broom cupboard. The musty smell will cover up the hint of 'jazz' cigarettes on her clothes.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Lynne tells George that she has been asked to join a local art class. George is surprised as he thought she didn't like painting. Lynne agrees that she doesn't but she is in fact the model.

George is cooking some food. He is wearing an apron because he does not want to get any of his paella on his brand new red and white stripy waistcoat. By pure coincidence it is the same pattern as his apron, or is it a coincidence? Did the waistcoat and apron come as a matching set, or was one made with the leftover material with the other?

Whatever its origin, George has decided not to risk any saffron stains and by the time he asks Lynne about painting he has removed his waistcoat and put the apron back on. It seems like a little bit of a waste of time as he has pretty much finished cooking and then removes the apron altogether, puts his food on a tray and moves to another room.

Initially, it is a little puzzling why George has not cooked for Lynne. In fact there is a very simple explanation. Lynne has been out for dinner with her friends, one of which is a member of the local art class, and George has worked late at the office. In Lynne's absence he has to cook his own dinner and, in an act of defiance, has decided he will eat his dinner in front of the telly. Of course he is not so decadent that he didn't want to protect his clothes.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Lynne is in the shower. She thinks to herself that Alice bought a flat pack toy rocking horse for her son, but she couldn't make head or tail of the assembly instructions.

Lynne is having rather a strange shower. Firstly she is at a very uncomfortable angle. Is this a new style of shower or did George install it himself, rather shoddily? George fancies himself as a handyman but this isn't good work. After installing the cubicle he then neglected to clean the tiles, and now not only is Lynne falling to a damaged spine, she has to look at the grime on the walls.

If this rocking horse really did come in a flat pack then Alice has done a very good job of assembling it, right up to the end. She must have planed and treated the wood to get the curves around the horses thighs. Well done Alice. This last part is easily fixed. As soon as she sees that the head and tail are on the wrong way round then she can just swap them over and her son will be able to play on it. Let's hope she didn't get too cavalier with the wood glue before checking her handiwork. After that she can concentrate on the more pressing issue of her son's pig tails.

Monday, June 7, 2010


A policewoman approaches Lynne and shows her a photo, asking if she has seen the man in it. Lynne says that she hasn't but tells the police officer that she'll call 999 if she does but only after he has taken her out for dinner. The policewoman agrees that the man in the photo is very attractive.

The investigation into catching this criminal mastermind has hit a dead end. The Wimbledon police force are so baffled by the whereabouts of said criminal that they have resorted to asking members of the public on the street if they have seen the man. This is certainly not a covert operation. It seems that the policewoman here has made rather a silly error when arresting this man previously, like forgetting to lock his handcuffs, and is too embarrassed to go back to the station to tell her superior. She is trying to find him without having to admit to losing yet another criminal.

Lynne is very trusting. She will agree to have dinner with a man just on the strength of his looks, even though she is not only married but also she has absolutely no idea of the severity of his crime. Granted he could be wanted on three counts of fraud or using a stolen credit card, in which case the meal she gets with him could be quite lavish, but he could be a dangerous murderer. Also, the fact that she would contemplate going to dinner with a stranger suggests that she is propositioning every attractive man in the Wimbledon area for meals. It would seem that she can't walk 100 yards without expecting to be invited out on 5 dates.

The policewoman soon changes her tune when she too notices the level of attractiveness of the man in the photo. She forgets all about her task and stares into the photo dreamily. This is undoubtedly how she lost him in the first place. As he was being arrested he charmed his way out of the situation thus leaving the hapless policewoman in a trance like state. Judging by the fact the man in the photo is wearing a bow tie, he's likely to be in Geneva by now.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


George and Sammy are fishing. Sammy tells George that a lot of men go fishing to escape. After a pause George sees a fish and says that unfortunately a lot of fish escape men who go fishing.

Sammy has a lot of inner turmoil. Being a man in the 1980s, it has taken him a long time to come to terms with his depression. He has turned to George for help but finds it extremely difficult to put into words what he is feeling at this time. During a long silence on a fishing trip he has insinuated his pain to his best friend in the hope that he will pick up on Sammy's feelings.

Sammy tells George that men go fishing to escape. What exactly is Sammy trying to escape from? We know he has been drinking a lot recently. Is he stuck in a loveless marriage with a woman who cares more about matching her earrings to her top than her husband's unhappiness? All Sammy is hoping for is for George to ask him what he is escaping from, then it will unlock the door to his emotions.

George doesn't read this at all and makes a joke. At this moment Sammy knows that no one will really ever understand his pain. Just look at the way his head is slightly lowered when George makes his quip. He longs to be a fish, with no worries. He thought his best friend was George, but now he knows, all too solemnly, that his best friend is in fact the bottle.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Lynne is at the dentist. She sees that two dentists are staring at each other amorously. She says that her intuition tells her that they are an item. The male dentist tells Lynne that they are in love but they want to keep it quiet. Lynne tells them that the truth is out now and then the dentist tells her that soon her tooth will be out soon also.

Lynne is at the dentist but we do not know if this is the same dentist that both she and George were at the other day. Is this a direct continuation or did Lynne miss her appointment? It may be that Lynne had something seriously wrong with her tooth which required a second appointment for some emergency surgery – by the end we realise this to be true.

The two dentists are in love but want to keep it quiet. This is because relationships between dentist working in the same surgery is incredibly frowned upon in the dental community. If these two dentists wish to keep their love to themselves they should for starters not tell a random patient, and secondly not only stop sending each other heart shaped cards but also stop pinning them up on the walls of their surgery. If anyone read the messages inside, they would be in serious trouble.

Due to his new found love, the male dentist has completely forgotten to administer the anaesthetic to Lynne. She is going to be in a lot of pain when he starts drilling into her gums. Also, he doesn't seem to have much confidence in himself as he says that 'hopefully' Lynne's tooth will come out. Is a dentist who is likely to stop half way and give up? More likely is that these are scare tactics to keep Lynne from telling everyone about what she saw.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


George and Lynne are at the cinema. George asks Lynne how the critics rate the film they are about to see. Lynne tells him that they said it was perfect for insomniacs.

The lights are down and the audience are in place. However George is intent on ruining it for everyone by talking. He had the entire previews and adverts to ask Lynne about the film. We can only assume that George had to meet Lynne there instead of arriving together. This may have been to do with a long day at the office, but George is not wearing a suit. The likely excuse is that he had to park the car, thus letting Lynne get out and buy the tickets. Still, the film has started and no one else is talking.

Lynne must like to thoroughly research the films she watches before going to see them as she knows what the critics think. This begs the question why she is seeing this film if it is perfect for insomniacs. By George's reaction this means that the film will be boring. There are further explanations for Lynne's decision though. The first is of course that she has a very poor grasp of the english language. She doesn't quite understand the meaning of insomnia and she may believe it has something to do with Wimbledon.

The other explanation is that the perfect for insomniacs because it tackles the issues of insomnia that non-sufferers do not understand. Lynne herself suffers mildly from insomnia and would love to see how someone else tackles the issue in a sympathetic and artistic way. George's surprise is due to the fact that he has been oblivious to Lynne's insomnia all these years and now feels bad that he hadn't picked up on it. This film is now also perfect for George to understand the suffering that Lynne goes through most nights.