MATERIAL

Lynne says that she has always been accused of being a material girl. George doesn't agree because there isn't a lot of material in the dress that Lynne is wearing.

Initially, we do not know where George and Lynne are. It is quite dark judging by the backgrounds. It could be George's sex dungeon.

Lynne is making a reference to the fact she spends a lot of money on trivial items that represent her status. She doesn't need all those shoes and bags, but it makes her feel better. In addition to this, she is a fan of Madonna and has wanted to get the 'Material Girl' reference into casual conversation for quite a while now.

George has not heard the song, nor the phrase, so believes it literally refers to material, hence his last statement. He is a little taken aback by Lynne's dress that he has forgotten to get dressed himself. He is once again in his gardening shirt. It is rare for Lynne to be ready before George.

FEEL

Lynne is looking at herself in the mirror. She sighs and says she’s not as young as she used to be. George comes in and tells Lynne that she’s only as old as she feels and then adds that she feels pretty good to him.

Lynne is going through a bit of a crisis. In addition to feeling dated, she is now examining her wrinkles in the mirror. This is a mistake. Everyone knows that the harsh light of the bathroom is never flattering.

George, whose tan has lasted longer than Lynne’s, offers up his sympathy. But would you look at the size of his underpants. They are the smallest he has ever worn. A great deal of waxing has gone one there to ensure his pant moustache is not visible.

It appears that George and Lynne don’t have an ensuite bathroom as such, but a sink and mirror in their bedroom, like you find in a B&B. Perhaps George and Lynne’s house used to be a B&B. This may explain the bad water pressure and filthy shower.

DATED

George and Lynne are out and about. Lynne sees an amorous couple and reminisces to George about when they were still dating. George says it was a long time ago and Lynne replies that she knows but she wishes they still were dating, because she now sometimes feels a little dated.

Instead of seeing two people in a clinch on a bench and being embarrassed, George and Lynne feel warmed. However, George looks very happy so might be feeling a little aroused. Hence his actions at the end.

The woman on the bench looks similar to the woman from the gift shop. This could be Harry too, although he is a little blurred and it is difficult to tell. If it is him, he must have finally got round to going to that gift shop. Let's hope he didn't catch anything from Tabitha.

If Lynne felt a little dated in the 1980s, you can only imagine what she feels like now what with the way modern technology has advanced. The 60 year old Lynne is probably hiding under some blankets at home, waiting for the apocalypse.

LONG AND SHORT

Lynne is trying on dresses in front of George and she asks him if the one she is wearing is too long. She changes and then asks if her current dress is too short. George tells her that both are great and adds that that’s the long and short of it.

George and Lynne are getting ready to go out. From experience, George knows that Lynne will always try on a number of dresses before making her final choice so has not started to get ready himself, but has stayed in his gardening shirt.

Lynne, despite buying a lot of clothes over the years, still does not know the difference between a dress and a skirt. You would think that after all this time she would know, but no, she doesn’t.

The second dress might be too short for the dinner she and George are going to, but unless the first dress is getting caught under her shoes then it really can't be too long. In fact, dresses that drag on the floor have been the style. Maybe that is a little 'out there' for Lynne.

BAD WEATHER

George and Lynne are at an airport. The woman at the departures desk apologises and says their flight has been cancelled. George asks if it is due to bad weather. A different woman says it is due to bad Heather as the lady co-pilot has a headache.

This is not the check-in desk of the airline but a boarding gate of the airport. Up until this point, the flight was due to leave on time and the gate had been displayed on the boards. George, Lynne and countless other passengers had walked to the boarding gate in good faith only to be told their flight is now delayed.

The woman with the red hair has had to pull rank on the original woman. She is more important and feels it is her duty to tell George the real reason behind the delay. It would sound better coming from her.

What sort of two-bit airline is this that they would delay a flight just because the co-pilot has a headache? You would think that by the time the aspirin kicked in the pilot would have taken off and then the co-pilot would been able to resume her duties. If it was a migraine, then you have to wonder why the co-pilot would be allowed to fly if she was always going to be a liability. It seems that the flight will take off as soon as Heather's headache has gone. One thing's for sure, George and Lynne won't be flying FeminAir again in a hurry.

FORGETTING

Lynne is in bed. George comes in with a box of chocolates as an apology for forgetting. Lynne asks him what he has forgotten. George says he will keep the chocolates as Lynne herself has forgotten, but Lynne doesn’t let him.

George is in his casual attire but Lynne is in her underwear so it is difficult to know what time of day it is. It must be the weekend, sometime around mid to late afternoon. George has been out in town and has forgotten something, so buys some chocolates.

The real mystery is what George has forgotten. If he was in town but he had time to buy chocolates, then it is unlikely he forgot to buy something for Lynne. Lynne is scantily dressed so he could have forgotten about their planned romantic evening together.

This isn’t right because even Lynne has forgotten. We also know that Lynne usually dresses like this in the day so George could have forgotten anything. The irony would be if George had forgotten to buy Lynne chocolates, but surely neither of them are that stupid.

CLINGY

George and Lynne are getting dressed. Lynne asks George if he thinks the dress she is wearing is a bit clingy. George says it isn't but he is.

George and Lynne are about to go out. Once again they have to go through the ridiculous charade of Lynne trying on all these different dresses so that George gives her a compliment.

In order to get George's attention, Lynne strikes the same pose as she did when she was hailing a cab in harlequin leggings. This must be her, 'everyone look at me pose.' Well it worked then and it's working now.

George is right, the dress isn't clingy. It actually hangs rather than clings to her body. Lynne must have confused the meaning of clingy with revealing. But now because of George, she will wear that out, even though it is in fact a nightie.

LOCKED OUT

Lynne is recounting a story to George. She tells him that the door slammed shut and she was locked out wearing only a towel. George asks if she got help. Lynne replies that she got help from the police and also the fire brigade, an ambulance, a postman and a window cleaner.

Lynne has a very interesting story to tell George and she insists on launching into it as soon as he gets home from work. He hasn't even had time to loosen his tie. Lynne, on the other hand, didn't bother to get dressed today.

Lynne was outside in only a towel because she was just about to have a bath and decided she wanted a cup of tea whilst in the bath. There was no milk in the fridge so she went outside to see if the milkman had been. He had and as she went out to pick up the milk the door slammed shut, just as Lynne said.

Lots of people came to help Lynne. The window cleaner offered to go up his ladder to open a window, the ambulance was there in case he fell, the postman was there to verify that Lynne actually lived there and the policeman was there so no one reported a break in, thus wasting more police time. This does beg the question of what the fireman was doing there. He just wanted to see if he could look at Lynne's boobs.

SNOOKER CHAMPION

Lynne and 'Mantha are out. Lynne sees the local snooker champion on crutches and points him out to 'Mantha. 'Mantha is shocked and asks Lynne how he broke his leg. Lynne tells her that he tripped over on a number 147 bus. 'Mantha says that it sounds painful. Lynne agrees and adds that it was the 147 break he didn't want.

Wimbledon has a local snooker champion. Lynne does not tell us which snooker championship he won but it was likely to be the Wimbledon Open. If he was a professional, he probably wouldn't be getting the bus.

'Mantha doesn't read the local newspaper so doesn't know about the snooker champion's accident. She prefers to ask Lynne about any news because it gives them something to talk about. Without that conversation starter, they would most likely be sitting in silence.

The snooker champion was on the 147 bus when he broke his leg. We don't know exactly why he was in the Wanstead/Plaistow area. He might have been going to watch West Ham United. He has decided not to sue Transport For London as the unwanted attention might affect his training. Lynne looks very angry at the end. She had a large bet on him winning the South West London Championship.

STAIRS

George and Lynne are in a hotel. A woman tells her husband, Arnold, that they should take the stairs. Upon hearing this, George suggests to Lynne that they do the same. Lynne says she doesn't want to walk up four floors and that the lift is coming anyway. When the lift arrives she asks the lift operator where he's been. He replies that by asking Lynne where anyone goes in a lift.

George and Lynne are on a weekend away. They are staying in quite a fancy hotel and judging by George's attire they have just come back from dinner. George and Lynne's room is on the fourth floor and as it's late, Lynne does not feel like walking.

The hotel is so fancy it has an old style lift which needs an operator. This means that unless the lift stops after a certain time, the operator has to work all night. When the lift does come, Lynne is very rude to the operator. He only looks young and is only doing this job so he can have a little extra money in his pocket for the weekends. Lynne takes her anger at George for suggesting they walk out on the operator.

Not willing to take that sort of abuse, the lift operator throws all lift operating etiquette out of the window and answers in a condescending manner. Had Lynne actually understood what the lift operator meant, she may have reported him to the manager. George sees that Lynne is drunk so quietly apologises to the lift operator and takes her to bed.

Note: There is literally nothing funny about this cartoon.

MY DRESS

Lynne is at her dresser in her underwear getting ready to go out. She tells George that she asked him to pick up her dress from the dry cleaners. She then says that she now has nothing to wear. George, who is dressed, hugs Lynne and says that it is just the way he likes it.

George and Lynne are about to go out. Even though Lynne knows her dress is still at the dry cleaners she has still decided to put her make-up on. Whether she actually thinks she will be going out in only her underwear we don't know. She may think that George is playing a cruel trick on her.

Lynne is trying to make George feel guilty for his trick by wiping away a tear and saying she has nothing to wear. She had her heart set on wearing that dress. All George wanted to do was hug his wife and now he's made his wife cry.

As his plan backfires, George knows he needs to get the pay-off sooner rather than later otherwise it would have been all worthless. So he grabs Lynne and squeezes and shakes her. Soon enough, Lynne gets a little scared and has to tell George to stop. It is awkward for a bit but it soon blows over.

LOCAL ROADS

George and Lynne are in bed. Lynne is reading the paper and tells George that the poor state of local roads continue to give cause for concern. The goes on to say that one group is happy with the situation namely the local pot-holing club who have just begun to explore the high street. George looks shocked.

The local paper that Lynne is reading is quite thin. The editors who run the paper have yet to cotton on to filling up pages with advertisements which not only make the paper look bulkier but give it a much needed revenue stream. Perhaps the sales department is only in its early stages.

It appears that the holes in the high street are so bad that the pot holing club is using them. This begs two questions: Firstly how have the local council let the state of the roads get so bad that people can actually climb down into the holes and secondly why Wimbledon has a pot holing club. It's no wonder the club are so happy – they finally have a chance to actually go pot holing, after years of AGMs and meetings. This will go down as a landmark year for the club.

Meanwhile, the council really need to sort out the high street. One car crash and they're going to have a compensation case on their hands so big that the cost of fixing the roads will pale in comparison.

LEGS AND BOOBS

Lynne is in the bath and on the phone to an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that she has applied for the job as Mr Valentino's secretary. Lynne tells her to watch him as she's heard he treats woman as sex objects. Lynne's friend says that he was fine with and said she had all the right qualifications. Lynne thinks this is typing and computer skills but the friend says it is long legs and big boobs.

Mr Valentino is well known in Wimbledon. Where he works or what he does we do not know but we do know he has been advertising for a secretary. Either his workload has increased so much that he now needs one or the previous one left.

Lynne has failed to use the plural of woman when she warns her friend. She may have wanted to say 'his woman' but that would imply that Lynne's friend was entering into more than a business relationship with him.

This being the 1980s, Mr Valentino is able to hire his secretaries based purely on their looks, with no formal qualifications needed. Lynne's friend's boobs are so big, a pre-requisite for Mr Valentino, that she can't even stand up straight. Perfect for filing, not so good for typing up letters.

IRON

Lynne is doing the ironing. She thinks that there are too many of George's shirts to iron. George comes in shirtless and asks Lynne what is going on. Lynne says that it is a one woman walk out and that she isn't doing any more ironing. She adds that she is striking while the iron is hot.

George has no shirts to wear and has demanded that Lynne iron them because there is no way in hell he will iron his own shirts. He owns eight shirts. Three pink, three blue and two beige. This is odd because whenever he returns from work he is usually wearing a white shirt. This means that Lynne has ruined his shirts by putting colours in with them. How she got three different colours out of one wash is something to marvel at.

George's question is not about Lynne's ironing but why there is water all over the kitchen and all his shirts are not white and in a wet heap on the ironing board. Lynne's proclamation of a strike has just confused him.

If George knows best, he will run downstairs before Lynne's reckless iron positioning sets the living room on fire. She doesn't understand about heat.

CREDIT CARD

George and Lynne are out. Lynne tells George that he is the love of her life and her best friend. George asks Lynne if she's sure about that. Lynne confirms that he is the love of her life but her best friend is her credit card. George expects her to say something like that.

George has gone out holding a small pig. At first glance it looks as though it maybe his money box. He has lost his wallet and for some reason he sees his piggy bank as a substitute to carry his money around in. We may chuckle at George's idea, but this could be a sign of early onset dementia.

By the time the attractive woman turns up, it seems that this is not a piggy bank at all but a real miniature pig. Its ears are clearly in a different position and it looks a little alarmed. The attractive lady has seen George holding the miniature pig but decides to not say anything.

Lynne has not mentioned the pig either. This is because she had bought it with her credit card, hence her comment. George is so marvelled at how small the pig is that he doesn't even ask her how much it cost. They are priced at £700 now so just think what it must have cost Lynne.

LOCAL MP

George and Lynne are in bed. Lynne tells George that their local MP was caught in a compromising position. George is alarmed that this has happened again and asks Lynne who she was this time. Lynne says it was his wife which was a big shock to everyone.

George and Lynne are getting amorous on their bed with the massive heart shaped pillow and Lynne ruins the mood by discussing current affairs. Initially, it does not turn George off. Perhaps this is some sort of role-play involving being a local news reporter and her boss.

The MP's infidelity is of no surprise to George. The MP is some sort of Wimbledon Silvio Berlusconi and his extra-curricular activities only serve to increase his profile. Rumour has it that he doesn't actually bed any of these women, but it is merely a PR stunt to help his exposure.

Finally George is turned off by Lynne's chit chat. He was hoping she was going to talk about what the MP and his mistress were getting up to in bed, but instead Lynne had ruined the mood with a feeble joke. There is no way the MP being photographed in bed with his own wife would make the news, even it was only the local news. George is disgusted that Lynne would jeopardise their one night a week of love making for the sake of a gag.